All posts by Doctor Anonymous

Conservatives and Universal Morality

There is no better lens through which to view the inner workings of the human species than a human baby. Relatively untainted by their environment, infants allow us scientists to concentrate on the contribution of Nature over Nurture. Most recently, the study of babies has yielded an interesting and important truth: all babies are endowed with an inner sense of morality. 

This claim of inherent knowledge may seem blasphemous to some, but many different societies in human history have believed in the Universality of Morality. For example, in ancient Greece, Socrates was known to be constantly searching for the origins of the “Eternal Law of the Gods,” believing that all knowledge (morality included) was a divine gift. During the Renaissance this idea would become unpopular, with morality believed to only be determined by training and education. Jean Jacques-Rousseau called the human baby a “perfect idiot,” and the persisting theory until most recently has been that babies are blank slates into which we input our own values.

However, the researchers at Yale University’s Infant Cognition Center would disagree with the perfect idiot hypothesis. Through several controlled experiments, they showed that babies have certain pre-programmed moral codes that persist despite very low consciousness. In short, the Morality of Babies show us that: 

– Babies have a sense of equal division of basic resources
– Babies have a sense of justice – punishing bad, rewarding good
– Babies have a sense of cooperation – helping is good, harming/hindering is bad

The conservative columnist Dinesh D’souza uses these findings as evidence of the theories of Socrates: That we are touched by God before birth, inheriting a sense of right and wrong that is as ingrained in our DNA as the ability to see with our eyes or breathe with our lungs. The science indicates that we are born with a universal morality–whether you are liberal, conservative, black, white, American or Chinese. It is truly universal.
I do not think that this finding is news to conservatives. In fact, I don’t think that this should be news to anybody. We all know deep in our bones the difference from right and wrong. Being in tune with this decision-making algorithm permeates every part of our life. Almost every decision we make is viewed through this inherent lens. 
Just as our inner morality is universal, it’s effect on voting is also universal. In a recent study (Skitka et al, 2014), whether we are liberal or conservative, morality is shown to be the impetus that drives citizens toward activism and political involvement. Whether it is the simple matter of voting, picketing, or any other permutation of the political process, political involvement based on morality is also relatively equally spread. Our conflict arises because this same morality is interpreted in different formats. For example, for each conservative involved in the policymaking against illegal immigration, there is a liberal against the death penalty. My point is that we all are moral creatures; we just differ in our interpretation of that morality.

If you take your ideas of conservatism from talk radio, you may think that fellow conservatives tend to believe that we are morally superior for our beliefs. I disagree. As Thomas Jefferson said:
“All men are created equal.”
This statement is one of the many beautiful intersections of science and spirituality. We are all created from the same protoplasmic goo to become more similar to each other than any other species on this earth. If we are to think that we are superior to one another, it is self-defeating. Although one person may be more intelligent, stronger, better-looking, or pious, we are merely different interpretations of the same species.

Although I do believe that we are all equals, I am realistic enough to know that equality does not mean similarity. For example, I define myself as a conservative, distinctively different from a liberal. Even more importantly, I am not from this Earth. As you may know, I am from a different dimension here to protect humanity from existential threats; my research into each political philosophy has concluded that conservatism is humanity’s best option. Not the conservatism that is propagated in the media by extremists and idiots, but the conservatism of the silent majority of human beings, regardless of nationality. The survival of our species is a distinctly conservative value, as this value requires one critical component that studies also show that the Political Left tends not to possess:
Moral Absolutism.
To be fair, I think that we as conservatives view too many things in absolutes. Take gay marriage for example: even within our own political party there are different interpretations of what is right and wrong. However, I am disinterested in these petty social concerns. As a scientist and a dimensionaut, there are some places I know that humanity should not go.
To name a few:
– Artificial consciousness
– Eugenics
– Interspecies mingling
– Human Cloning
These may seem far-fetched, but there are very real examples from your history where experimentation has been conducted in these fields. In general, the idea of scientific experimentation is a good one. However, if we are not clear about what we want from science, it will run amok. Just as morality teaches us that all actions are not good actions, in science we must understand that all progress is not good progress.
Conservatives understand this. I am not so sure that the Left does.
Although that specific conclusion is debatable, the evidence from these morality studies seems to be definitive. I hope that the evidence holds up, as it fills me with hope for your humanity’s progress in the future. Looking through the lens of universal morality, the endless debate and vitriole from both ends of the political spectrum seems so petty. No matter how crazy another human being may be, he/she started out as a baby that knew the difference of right from wrong. Rather than focusing on hot button issues that are debatable, if we shift our focus to issues that are absolute in their benefit for all of humanity, I think we could advance our country and our species. As a united front, America could carry this world into a New Modern Age. How do we do that? It’s complicated. Stay tuned, I have some ideas.

(But I’d love to hear your ideas, too!)

How I Defeated My Own Xenophobia: Part II

Part I can be found here.

In my race to travel to your dimension, my dislike of my classmate Yuri’s talents boiled underneath my calm demeanor.

By sheer academic/social/physical prowess, he easily smashed through the Space-Time Travel qualifying rounds. With each step towards The Trials he was ever-present, waiting with an open hand to help me get to the next step. Truthfully, if it were not for Yuri’s help I would have not understood the complex algorithms of space-time in such a short time. Although I accepted his help, his grace was always met by me with a secret skepticism and disgust. I began to view his sportsmanship and classmate camaraderie as arrogance and pity.

I’ll show him!, I thought, as we both trained in the university simulation lab. America is the best, and we will triumph.

Finally, the quadrennial year of The Trials arrived. With The Trials, our dimension’s human beings aspired to be the best of all dimensions. The discovery of dimensions that we could peer into had ushered in a new age of cooperation throughout humanity. We all wanted to be a better species, knowing that if we could look upon others, then others could look upon us as well. The Trials was created to choose our ambassadors to those dimensions, but also as a guide to all humanity of what every human being should aspire to be. Not only were we tested on strength of mind and body, but the Trials included tests of character, and of will.

Yuri and I both blasted through our competition, having been trained by the best the human race had to offer. Our school excelled in producing individuals with a heightened perception of morality, a trait that the entire human race had espoused as the most important determining factor in selection.

Looking backward (forward?), it was ironic that this is where I would again lose to my Russian nemesis.

I honestly don’t know how I failed the morality trial, as the information is soon deleted from your mind after The Trials are concluded. However, in the next four years of soul searching, I gained enough spiritual insight to guess that it came from my displaced anger against what Yuri represented. Judgement is the central component of morality, and if that judgement is built on faulty ideas of xenophobia then the entirety of your morality can be eroded. It was after four long years in the pursuit of universal morality that I realized this important truth:

Tribalism will destroy your morality.

To be fair, I was born and raised in South Detroit and still trumpet this at any karaoke bar. I go to your dimension’s Tigers Games, pray for the Lions, and only buy American cars. However, like alcohol, it is a vice. Tribalism is the same reason that people get assaulted outside of sport venues or gang rallies for wearing the wrong colors. Tribalism is the same reason that India and Pakistan, or Palestine and Israel, or my dimension’s Russia and USA, have been at odds for decades. Tribalism is the reason why “I” think I’m better than “You” for a multitude of silly reasons.

When asked to write for The Modern Conservative, I jumped at the chance to make your dimension better. Conservative ideals were at the heart of The Trials. Virtues like self-reliance, preservation of tradition, and spritiuality will bring a better future for all of our humanity. Unlike liberalism, the conservative ideals are meant to tame the evils of man, rather than hope that all change will be for the better. Conservatives know that there will always be evil in this world, and it is only through vigilance that we will become our best selves.

However, tribalism is running rampant in the conservatives of your dimension today. We need to realize that we are all in this together. We need to begin erasing the lines that have made this country caustic, while still keeping the barriers that should exist. Having been flung here through space-time from an alternate future, I can tell you that the rapid changes that humanity will experience in the coming decades need a conservative voice of reason. We need to provide direction, and that requires a renewed focus on betterment of our country and our party.

And that starts with Universal Morality. Stay tuned for my next article on how to figure that out.

How I Defeated My Own Xenophobia: Part I

The first and last time that I was sent home from school for bad behavior stemmed from my inherent hatred of the Russian people. The year was 2056, and I had stood up in the middle of our crowded Science Hall to raise both middle fingers to the Russian Ambassador, in protest that he had chosen to visit our science-centered boarding school. Although he came to spread goodwill on his US tour, I could tell that this man was a brute, an old remnant from the era of Russian Militarism that had started during the Second Space Race. I seethed in anger as he talked about the cooperation of humanity in our new era of dimensional travel. Although it instantly made me the hero of the other students, there was no denying that the judgement from any moral code would render only one verdict:

I was in the wrong.

I based my rebellion on the fact that my father had died in the Second Space Race. I also based my rebellion on the 40 long years in which we had all been indoctrinated in the xenophobic culture war of our previous generation’s conflict. I had even based my rebellion on proving to all others in the school that I was different than them, refusing to believe that humanity had reached a new era of cooperation in the pursuit of a common goal.

However, I was most definitely wrong.

I apologized, struggled through our school’s mandatory sensitivity training, and engrossed myself in academic achievement. I wanted to be a dimensionaut so badly that I worked twice as hard as the next person. The negative energy that fueled my one act of rebellion disappeared in the productivity of scientific pursuit. Here in America, I learned to love human beings collectively, while our school contributed to advancement after advancement. Until HE showed up.

Yuri was 12 months my junior, but ahead of me in nearly every scientific metric. I was the top of my class, an average athlete, and a moderate success socially. Yuri, on the other hand, was able to excel at everything, and he soon gained a collective adoration from the student body. It was as if the deposed Russian Genomics experiments were conducted in secret, producing a superhuman teenager to compete with my trajectory. I was humbled, and the anger seethed yet again.

How dare he come to MY school and diminish my chances of becoming a dimensionaut? At this rate I would be resigned to the space program, or even worse: Politics. I redoubled my efforts, and chose to beat him at my strengths. Americans were classically more competitive at the improvisational and creative aspects of The Trials, and I began working these muscles as best I could. I spent hours in the lab creating new scientific devices. My breakthroughs ranged from domestic devices that allowed me to understand the rudimentary language of higher functioning animals, to designs for an acceleromatrix that would use the Earth’s gravity to fire high speed projectiles at incoming asteroids. These were my most fruitful years, and by the time that I had reached college I was on the fast track to the dimensionaut program.

But so was Yuri.

Although I hated him at the time, I needed him. As The Modern Conservative always says, Iron sharpens Iron. It was only through my new placement out of my comfort zone that I achieved such heights at such a young age.

I firmly believe in American excellence, and if we are to escape the very real possibility of stagnation, we must allow our children to compete in the global human race.

My dimension is very similar to yours, and competition between the US and the Soviets allowed us rapid advancement without a compromise of our principles. Every human being wants fulfillment, and a national goal is the best way to achieve that. Although your dimension is unfettered by a century long Cold War as mine was, there are plenty of competitive situations that we can choose to strive within. Game-changing technological achievements such as energy independence, robotic labor for all, or even free internet could ignite a new sense of national pride and elevate our species as a whole with a distinctly American footprint. Technological gains for all humanity would give us a moral authority again, similar to the global judgement of capitalism over communism in your dimension’s recent past.

However, in my opinion, no goal is as thrilling or as American as a the New Frontier of Space. The vastness of space has thrilled our species since prehistory, and the conservative ideals of self reliance, industriousness, and fortitude would be necessary for our re-entrance into this unclaimed frontier.

But we won’t get there without competition. Bring it on, Russia/India/China, we’re gunning for ya.

Stay tuned for my next article on how Yuri and I both became Dimensionauts!

Why You Should Be Against Artificial Consciousness

AIC small

Your collective media has recently been abuzz with low-level rumblings on the implications of what they call “Artificial Intilligence.” The UN recently had a meeting about it, specifically in regards to warfare. The battlefield of tomorrow may be populated by killer robots that can shoot to kill targets autonomously, and the Blue Hat Brigade did what they do best: talk about it.

The reasoning behind the meeting was an announcement by Russia of the creation of an autonomous robot that will gaurd Russia’s ballistic missile bases. This robot will have the ability to shoot and most likely kill any target it deems as a threat. Again: with no human intervention, THIS ROBOT CAN KILL!

Leave it to Russia, am I right?

For those of you who don’t know, I think Vladimir Putin is an out of control dimensionaut. Where I come from, these types of autonomous robots were so dangerous that they were outlawed. This Putin guy is nutso, people! Right now it’s at a missile base, but the technology will eventually spread like wildfire. Nowadays, every civilized country has some form of drone technology; how long do you think it will be before they figure out how to make tanks autonomous?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against artificial intelligence. I genuinely want a fridge that makes my grocery list for me, or a robot butler that can fold my underwear into those little balls like they do at the laundromat. Heck, even a robot dog would be great for the kids.

But the ability to kill human beings? No, thank you.

That’s why you, the American Public, should be against robots on the battlefield. We all know how this ends. Like any new tech, it’s just a matter of time before these robots make mistakes. Which may mean human lives, with no human having direct accountability. The complex ethical and moral decsions that are required to take a human life should never be made by anything less than another human being. You all know it.

But for some reason our UN representatives do not.

From what I read in the meeting notes, the US is totally for this kind of thing — just like Russia, China, and the other superpowers that were portrayed as villains in 80’s action films. Where did we go so wrong? Why is this okay for us? We should be taking a moral stand against this.

In fact, we should be taking a moral stand against any sort of manmade creation that has the ability to overpower us. This definitely holds true for robots on the battlefield, but also to artificial consciousness in general. Let’s not try to play God here. If it’s so easy to say no to advanced science that includes human cloning or interspecies mingling, where is the moral response to artificial consciousness? We need to draw a line in the sand of places that we do not go with science, and this one is mandatory. Take it from someone who has lived through a robot uprising: Robots don’t play nice.

Don’t believe me? Would you believe Stephen Hawking? Or every sci-fi movie, ever? The complex morality that human beings learn through childhood is difficult to replicate, and with the capacity for our computers to think faster each day, we can’t run the risk of them outhinking us. It’s an existential threat.

If humans are going to invest in technologies that make warfare easier, then let’s also invest in technologies for human advancement: exosuits. Neural enhancements. Increased regeneration. Cybernetics. There are plenty of futuristic/awesome advancements we could work on right now that would be much more meaningful to the human race. They would bring not only our country, but our species forward. And, if those Ruskybots ever get out of hand, we can put them back in line with our badass mobilesuits powered by American Cybernetic Supersoldiers.

The High Road always wins, friends. Let’s all take a stand against killer robots.

And Artificial Consciousness.

And Putin, the out-of-control dimensionaut.

(Seriously though, do they not have the Terminator series in Russia? Someone please Redbox it for him.)

Capital and What To Do With It: Part II

This is a continuation of Part I.

How about influence and capital? Both in Pikkety’s book, and in a quick tally of the major contributors to political campaigns, data shows that in this country money tends to buy influence. But does that mean that you will have an impact on Humanity’s Direction? Not necessarily. Sure, you may be able to influence a senator, but what has Congress done for anyone lately?

Simply speaking, we feel that you shouldn’t envy those at the top. They’re probably shady and you’re probably going to be much happier if you get yourself into the Upper Middle Class like we are over here at ModCon. We care more about being happy and raising good kids than the amount of vacation homes we own.

However, all that wealth could be used for good. The likelihood that you will have a significant impact in making the world a better place is definitely easier if you have vast sums of money to support your efforts. That was one of few great things about the last Gilded Age: in the early 1900s we had horrible conditions for the common man, but access to vast resources gave men like Andrew Carnegie the ability to do things that would have been unlikely otherwise. Railroads were built. Libraries were constructed. The US became the Big Man on Campus. Was it worth it? No question: yes.

We see similar expensive efforts today in the news on a regular basis. Entrepreneurs are working feverishly behind the scenes to make space flight a tangible reality for all human beings. Bill and Melinda Gates are well on their way to curing polio for good. As many shrewd conservative thinkers are pointing out, investments in philanthropic research are becoming more impactful than many government investments. Publicly-traded companies are using their vast sums of Financial Capital to create free internet for all, clean energy for most, and better education for our youth. In a nutshell, these members of the super rich elite are making the world a better place. As a Conservative, we know that Government has it’s faults. Businesses and Social Institutions these days are picking up the slack where government is unable or unwilling to intervene. Many of us here at ModCon work for benevolent companies that try to deliver goods and services to citizens to make their lives markedly better. Being associated with that daily transfer of money into quality of life is pretty awesome to be a part of.

Now, not everyone is being so beneficent. However, the point we here at ModCon are trying to make is that the world is different now. To compare the Gilded Age to the Internet Age is folly. We are not turning a profit on child laborers for gain anymore, for example. Companies and individuals accumulate wealth and resources while also providing purpose and financial independence to those of us lucky enough to work for a decent wage. Living in this era allows the superrich to create Impact for Everyone. We now live in the Information Age. We can study problems with better Data, track progress easier, and measure Impact better. We can do more good with less, if you know the new system. Continue reading Capital and What To Do With It: Part II

Capital and What To Do With It: Part I

Recently, French economist Thomas Pikkety published a landmark book entitled Capital in the Twenty First Century. Regardless of what you think about its conclusions, it’s groundbreaking stuff. We here at the ModernConservative are big fans of economics, specifically macroeconomics. In our opinion, the moving around of dollars and cents in this world is as close as we can come to tapping into humanity’s heartbeat and planning it’s direction for the future. Money takes into account the best and the worst of society and boils it down into the one thing that we love after God and Family here at ModCon: Data. Track the  Data right, and Truth opens itself up for you like a perfect, holy blossom. The search for Truth has defined humanity throughout the centuries, and Pikkety does his best to simplify his accountings of tax records over decades to come up with his idea of Truth in our modern age.

Spolier alert: As always, the Truth is a bitter pill to swallow.

We won’t get into the technical jargon of his book, but in a nutshell Pikkety believes that wealth in our modern society is becoming increasingly concentrated. The rich, specifically the super rich, are able to hold on to vast sums of money much easier than the upwardly mobile are able to acquire it. He believes that the superrich not only are able to buy yachts and supercars with this Financial Capital, but are also able to influence the power structure of our society. In essence, Financial Capital is far outpacing the Human Capital in regards to power in our society. You could be a smart twentysomething from an upper middle class family, but your contribution to humanity’s direction will most likely be outpaced by a another twentysomething from a wealthy family. Or at least your earning potential will be.

Now, we’ve heard this in the news before. The rich are getting richer, the poor are getting poorer. That we are entering into a New Gilded Age. In Pikkety’s terms, the “drift towards oligarchy” begins with the rapid accumulation of wealth by the superrich and the passing on of that wealth to their heirs. It is alarming, but unfortunately it is the Truth. Many old-guard conservatives deny this fact, but they are fools. To deny this basic concept in a time where everyone feels it in the air is to doom Conservative Thought into the realm of the obsolete. Wake up, people. This is happening.

So what should we do as Modern Conservatives? Should we fill the airwaves with misinformation and political spin in the attempts to discredit this theory? Should we continue to promote the false idea that this wealth is inherently tied to performance–and therefore deserved? We here at ModCon don’t think so.

Instead, let’s focus on what’s really important: Impact.

Impact is a more difficult concept to figure out. Sure, it’s very easy to detail that wealth is being concentrated, but what does one buy with that wealth? Can it buy you happiness? Sadly, no. Study after study has shown that after the threshold of $75,000 – 100,000, Happiness takes a precipitous plunge. If your income is below this threshold, as you rise up in the ranks you become increasingly more happy in your newfound security and access to resources. Anything higher than this, and the trappings of modern wealth begin to take hold: Selfishness, Laziness, and a disconnect from the Common Man.

Can this type of wealth guarantee your children’s success? Again, the Data proves otherwise. Sure, your children will be cultured by taking ski trips to the Alps or having tuition paid for at the college of their choice. However, income tends to stay the same or drop from one generation to the next if you’re too rich.

More importantly, if you were to base success on the pride of your son or daughter’s profession, the Data shows us that most doctors, pHDs and “job creators” of our society tend to begin from humble beginnings. The more likely scenario of wealth is that your children will associate with other affluent snobs and end up perpetuating their own wealth, rather than furthering your name or the success that you created by being a job creator…

Part II: Stay tuned for the doctor’s prescription!

Science and Conservatism

Science is the name of my Harlequin Great Dane.

I got her when she was just a little pup. I was well onto my second doctorate at that point, and I just needed something in my life to greet me at the door when I would come home.

Initially, when I began to understand Science, I saw her as a commentary about her namesake. Raw, untapped potential in the beginning. With each day that passed she grew in strength and size and smarts. When she began to tower over my girlfriends, her awesome power even as a young dog began to be noticed by all. She could get into trouble with all that potential. She could easily overcome a horse if she really wanted to.

But she didn’t. Life needs order. Structure. These teeth that could tear through bone if needed chose to enjoy her time with us with each passing day. She became deliberately kind, in search of a scheduled dose of love, food, and consistency. We were thick as thieves, me and her. Whether I was off on a lecture tour or in the throws of a Greek Island Meditation Retreat, that dog was being taken care of.  As with any other domesticated animal, you take care of her right, and really treat her with love and structure, you get this amazing creature basking in your presence.

But Order and Wildness are both needed. She needs to have a permanent bed, but to feel free to go wherever she wants. She needs to be assured in her beauty, but motivated to be an asset to your household. Anything less, and your dog can turn out to be a decoration. Or worse, a burden.

Neither order, nor wildness can exist in extremes. I get that. It’s why I’m trying to get other conservatives here, and to teach them this important rule:

Extremism sucks. For everybody involved. Quit yelling and start working together.Our future is getting wild, brothers and sisters. We need to circle the wagons and look at the map again. The possibilities of science right now are changing every civil and social institution. It’s happening. If there is any Republican Establishment out there, realize that we as conservatives are inherently linked to you, so get your crap together and provide an avenue for us to vote for getting crap done and not this sad, sorry estate of government bureaucracy. Let’s get efficient, people. Let’s provide some Direction.

Liberals don’t get that. They think Wildness is the name of the game. Provide a platform for everyone to win; provide all platforms. But some victories have to be better than others, we all know that. We all have within us an inherent morality, the choice to go towards good, or go towards bad. We can preserve or upend values, we can do this or we can do that, we can end up here or there, but to really reach untapped potential, you have to have Direction.

And to be inherent in direction, you have to have some sort of constraint. we can go here, we can go there. We can go there, or we can go here. But we can’t go Everywhere. Or can we?

I’m still working on that one. And I’d really like for some other conservative to setup an action plan to provide a little structure so we can get there.

I’m looking at you, Huntsman.

Why Science Put Me Here

So as you know, I’m not from around here.
I’m from another dimension. Funny thing is, to swipe into one dimension, you had to give up a certain amount of time, putting me back a few years to join you all in the here and now. So I’m just like you, but a little different. I’m a Futurist.
In this future, The Cold War is not part of the story, it is The Story. Each generation would be responsible for the clash of wills that would manifest every thirty years or so. The cycle of conflict was just that: cyclical. Like a refinished, extended cut of Bill Murray’s Groundhog Day. And with each Cold War, a new goal. In the Space Race, it was us against “The Soviets” in deciding humanity’s fate: to be trapped in this planet’s gravity or to choose to be free, as God himself may possibly be.

In the Culture Wars, it was the American Values of Freedom and commitment to Democracy that began to erode the USSR’s grip on Europe. In my alternate dimension, the unbridled energy of each generation was poured into a new contest of wills between these two Superpowers. Everyone had their price to pay to the deadly rivalry of the two superpowers, but with each competition through the years, humanity would advance.
And advance we did.
We had no idea of the depth, or the vastness, of space, but we began to experiment with God Particles and the creation of artificial consciousness.  We began to understand spacetime. In fact, around this time in my dimension, we as a species had stopped being limited to the concept of time. Once it was found to be a material, time travel became widely practiced. It was the death knell on our Consumerist Period. Time Travel became outlawed due to it’s extreme power over our own timeline. Instead, the same cosmic energies that we tapped into would be harnessed for extredimensional travel to use up the bandwidth of our newfound dimensional energy. Dimensional travel became limited to only a privileged few, as they would not only be unleashed into a new dimension, but an entire ExtendedLife span with which to manipulate the timestream due to being flung back into the past.
So there was a selection process. And with that selection process, came rules.
In each iteration, the Traveler had to aid in the fight against oppression. There was a Dimensional Council, with each country committing a representative. To travel, you had to be entirely memoryscreened. Whoever had the best, most human memories of growing up, the most fresh thoughts, the most clean mind, were allowed to come across. We knew there was a small risk of Psychiatric Side Effects with the Travelling, so you had to be cool. Unflappable.
Americans were naturals.
We dominated the first few years of extradimensional travel, mainly because it was our tech. But even so, to be Russian is to understand a will of iron. Stoicism is important to live up to, but the immovable object gets tossed around in the fabric of spacetime and becomes something wholly different on the other side. What little psychiatric side effects we saw were in Russian Dimensionauts. We could peer through their lens. And when drastic, send a man back to clean up the mess.
So that’s why I’m here. I am here to present ideas about a future where there is no oppression. I think Science is the answer to this problem. Every human being deserves the right to feel proud of his part in the human race; based on my understanding of the similarities between our dimensions, I think this can be achieved through science in the US.
Oh yeah, I’m also here to oppose Vladimir Putin.
(Because I think he may be an out of control Dimensionaut)

How to Win the Science Race of the Cold War 2

Let me tell you something, ladies and gentlemen. I am from an alternate dimension.

The dimension where I’m from is wild, unpredictable. Extremes from each side battle at the mercy of our constant spectatorship. Tribalism is allowed to run rampant unchecked.

It was the long fight between Ignorance and Curiosity.

In this reality, a large Superpower can take over a small part of an Eastern European country that has a bottlenosed dolphin attack squad. They can then convince the world that it was the people choosing for themselves. Is it true? Who really knows. More importantly, who really cares?


In the same dimension, we from the side of Curiosity have allowed freedom to go unchecked. Anything was possible. I started “experimenting” on animals at age 8. My mom was a total hippie, and anything went. My experimentation was with time control. I figured it out that I could freeze my cat in spacetime for a few seconds. I don’t think he was honestly able to tell that it had happened, but still. It pushed the limits of what an 8 year old could do ethically. The thing was, living in a Superpower that allowed a child at that age to enter into an advanced science program and explore physics the way I did, it was life-altering. Although I couldn’t really change this dimension from the inside, I could change other dimensions from the Outside. Also, ethically questionable.


I couldn’t let it get into the wrong hands. I skipped over into this dimension and destroyed the plans, with a long treatise about how it was wrong and that I was sorry I tried.

What I’m trying to say is that I’m here now. And we have to talk about this New Cold War. I cant really say too much about the future, because I didn’t have it like you guys did. Our Cold War lasted for a little bit longer, way into the 90’s. I think that each dimension has their own version of conflict, some just last longer than others.

Regardless, I have noticed that either there or here, the country that’s got the strongest science squad sets the tone. It’s just the way it is. The more that you understand of reality and how to manipulate it, the more you get to call the shots. And when Curiosity wins, we all win. Just provide it a little structure, that’s all.

I think that’s where conservatism is needed. Let’s become a little less extreme, a little more curious, and lay down some rules.

Rules that I’ve found that hold true between our two realities so far:

– No use of embryonic stem cells.

– You can’t try to replicate consciousness.

– Eugenics is always wrong.

– We’re all in this together.

– Everyone knows souls exist.

There are more out there. I’m just naturally Curious and have only found these out so far.

But, anyway, I digress. I got here through science, and over in my dimension the US calls the shots like a @#$%ing boss because we’re awesome at science. Granted, I came from the near future, so I’ve seen people try to start crap like Russia in Crimea all the time. Then the US gets pissed, we outscience them, and next thing they want to sell us back Crimea for a quantum supercomputer.

By that time we were planning our first colony on Mars and were researching warp drive. It was like pennies to us. And it fostered a new coordination that allowed us to reach the ability to travel between dimensions. I was a US scientist, with two doctorates, trying to bend dimensions from the outside. It was wild, but the US always came out on top because of our scientific prowess and collaboration for something better.

Get it together, peeps. It’s so much cooler to live in the world of Star Trek rather than the world of Red Dawn. If the astronauts in the space station can work together, then so can you. Let’s outscience ’em!

Introducing New Contributor: Doctor Anonymous

It is time you met someone who can bring the discipline and method of science into your personal philosophy.  Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the blog Doctor Anonymous, who will be reporting to you on the rigors of technology, design, and human progress…-The Modern Conservative


Thank you, The Modern Conservative, for that beautiful introduction.

Alas, my friends, we have been lead astray by the extremism of our current generation. The conservative commitment to growth is still genuine, but it has been tainted. Warped, even. Through the lens of short term gains and nostalgia for days past, we have been steered away from the core tenet of conservatism: calculated, directed growth.

Without a doubt, I believe that growth is the most important issue for humankind. It defines where we are headed as a nation. As a species, even. If we are to believe science, in our lifetimes humankind will experience changes that encompass all tenets of modern society. Family, faith, technology, and institutions are being shaken from the ground up. As an advocate for the sciences, I know this. In addition, I would bet that you, and everyone around you, knows this too. This feeling of electric change is almost palpable. It is not a slogan to be used at political rallies, but an overwhelming force in our current era. It is happening, and it cannot be stopped. As modern conservatives, we need to undersatnd that this is inherent to our reality. Change is a constant, and it is our responsibility to direct it towards the benefit of all mankind.

We as a society must understand that the direction of space-time is moldable. Manageable. Conquerable. Although the different permutations of the future are infinite, noble ideas and excellent followthrough have the ability to ensure a future that is grand for every human being. We are living in a time of unparalleled scientific breakthrough, with each new day bringing disruptive technologies that rival the impact of the printing press or the atomic bomb or even the internet. Humanity must be vigilant in these times, as the future depends on us in this crucial checkpoint in history. In these times of increasing complexity, we must decide as a species which fundamental direction we want to go: The beginning of growth? Or of stagnation? Worse still, destruction?

I believe that modern conservatism is necessary in this new world. Modern conservatives understand that the path to our future needs a complex mix of freedom and constraint. In regards to our direction as a society, to choose any and all growth is a simple answer to a complex question. In contrast to liberalism, we conservatives know that not all growth is considered equal. Each parent wants their child to grow into a model of human society. But does ANY growth bring us to this end? No. The cancerous cells that grow inside of a young boy’s bones is not the same as the cells making him a man. No, the former growth is inherently wrong, and we should make a concerted effort to end this growth. In every vice of human nature that is to be allowed, it should be managed. Whether that vice is sickness, or any of the evils that pervade mankind that exist in this reality, it is our role to manage them like weeds in a well-kept lawn.

I am realistic. Any scientist will tell you that they will never completely cure this society or species or universe of all ill. The darkness that exists can never be truly eradicated from this world. There will always be problems. We are human, and even as the dominant species on this planet, it is fundamental to reality that to be human is to err.

However, we can try.

And if we are to be a part of that effort, we as modern conservatives must lead the way in the exploration of scientific endeavors.

The fundamentals of the scientific process are inherently conservative principles. Testing hypotheses and confirming results have been not only a modern conservative principle, but a HUMAN principle. It is in our very DNA to judge the outcome of a decision. To be fair, as a political party, we have not been lacking in judgement. Judgement surrounds us when perusing conservative media outlets. However, we have forgotten that to make accurate judgement requires accurate sources of information. We must classify and understand our world if we are to determine what is the correct decision or direction. We as a species must observe, form a hypothesis, and then create a judgement on that hypothesis. To miss one step is to miss all steps.

Science can not answer all questions. In those areas, institutions of faith, philosophy, love, and the soul are important. However, whether we like it or not, our future as a species is inherently tied to American technological excellence. Whether we like it or not, we Americans are steering the ship.

And science, the best science, is just one tool that we NEED in our arsenal.I plan on espousing a direction in which conservatism and science can move together. I’m half man, half robot, all awesome.

I’m Doctor @#$%ing Anonymous, and I’m here to drop some science bombs on that dirty little brain of yours.

Let’s drive this rocket ship like we stole it. In the right direction, of course.